the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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