If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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