My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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