Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize