On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Your tits are I can't wait for
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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