I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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