Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
