yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize