No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
And then he peed in my hair
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