My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
