I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
