we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
