Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize