How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
