I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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