I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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