I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
