Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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