I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize