One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize