this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
