Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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