i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
