ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i just had sex bonerless
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
