i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
