Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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