Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
