his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
