Whatcha textin bout Willis?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
