Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
