yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I intend to get homeless drunk
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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