if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
