We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
