Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize
