Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
