Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
