dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
