Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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