new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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