Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
