I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
