all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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