A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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