At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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