I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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