I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
