I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize