I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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