Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
