I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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