OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize