Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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