One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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