New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Sorry my hands just texted you
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
