I wannas sexs uuuuu
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize