i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Oh god it's open bar.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
