dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
