I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
