but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
