how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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