Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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