Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
