Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
