i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Also, beer. Big fan.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
