Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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