After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize